she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize