so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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