im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
