If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize