Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
