weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
