dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
