im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize