I wish you could order shots online.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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