If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
