I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
