You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
