just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
