I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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