this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Randomize
