If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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