Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize