i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
