Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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