Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
