also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
