walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
