you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
