i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
As shirtless as possible
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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