im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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