Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize