when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
