Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You pole danced in your parka.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
