She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
