oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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