How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
