There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
