remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
