Sponge bath it is.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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