you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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