An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
