Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
