everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
