My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
