We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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