My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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