Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I think my moral compass just broke
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
