i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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