I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
