At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
