We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
