Why are handjobs necessary in class?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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