who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
