I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
