at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He? As in you personified your dick?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
