He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Shame is for Republicans.
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