I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize