I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
