I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I want her autograph on my taint
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize