Your face is a jimmy john
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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