i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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