I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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