hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
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